I'm obsessed with freedom. Maybe it's because of my upbringing. When I turned 18, my parents treated me like an adult, completely. I was asked (since I lived in their home) of extending the courtesy of letting them know if I was coming home for the night or not; other than that, I was treated exactly like an adult.
It bothered me that I knew other 18 year olds who felt the need to ask their parents permission to do things.
Why do you need to ask your parents? You're an adult! Legally!
The curious thing was, the most frequent response had to do with money. They needed money from their parents to do something. They drove their parents car. Their parents covered their auto insurance. Their parents paid for their college.
And if, apparently, your parents were paying for you to go to college, adult or not, your parents still owned you.
Maybe just a little bit. In some cases, quite a lot.
I seem to remember some people having to live at home and have a curfew after the age of 18, all because their parents were paying for them to go to college.
Here's some insight into my life: I paid for my first car when I was 16. My parents loaned me $1,000 for the car, $200 for gas and $200 for insurance and I paid them back while maintaining my insurance and gas. I bought another car from them for $4000 my senior year and paid it back within a year or a year and a half. There was no thousands of dollars waiting for me to go to college; I got a full ride, or I didn't go.
Which is why I was annoyed when FAFSA asked about my parents income. What did that matter? I'm 18, and I pay for everything myself. It was a bit of a comedy to myself and my dad when, on a trip with a quasi-Christian group in Chicago at the age of 19, the leader felt the need to call my Dad and ask him if it was ok if I went home early. We played along.
But I was a grown man, and if I wanted to leave Chicago, I was doing so, and I didn't need my father's permission. I had my own car, my own money, and, if I really needed to, I could move out on my own.
FREEDOM!
It really does not seem too much of a stretch to me today that my generation is so ready to do the same with the government. Let the government support us in every way, give us our food, our job, our housing, our health insurance. It all sounds good.
Until the other shoe falls, and they're telling us that it's a Wednesday night and we can't go out, we have to finish our term paper first.
But to obtain my freedom, I had to be responsible enough not to go begging my parents for money. And to maintain our freedom, we, as 20 something adults, need to be equally self-sufficient. Quite frankly, that's a discipline that too few of my generation learned from our parents, or care to learn for ourselves.
We would rather have a master then do all that extra work.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Power
In a really simplified way, there are two types of power. There's real power and perceived power. Real power is something like a police man with a gun telling you to stop running or he'll shoot you. A perceived power would be the credit card company threatening to garnish your wages or put a lien on your property if you don't pay, scaring you into paying them off when you weren't planning to anyway. They don't, for those of you who don't know, have the power to do this (the courts do, not them, obviously), but if they scared you into doing what they wanted, that's perceived power.
Keeping that in mind, I was a bit under the weather today and reading a variety of news articles and blogs to pass the time in bed. I even went the extra step and read all the comments under the articles, an interesting experience, to say the least. Two things that are dominating the news stuck out to me.
Health care and banking. No, check that, health care insurance, which is not health care. We can extend this to all major corporations and wall street investing, as well.
Main street and Wall street.
The comments "main street" Americans left time and time again were angry. They felt used. They resented the banks and their practices. They resented the large salaries of the CEOs at the top of the health insurance industries, and elsewhere. They acted like these companies hold a power over us.
This power that main street has given wall street is a perceived power. In the end, we allow these companies to control us. We choose where every dollar we spend goes, except for taxes, which, for the majority of us (bottom 50%), aren't that burdensome.
The wonderful thing about free market (using the term loosely) capitalism, is that every one of us has a small power to affect what companies stay in business and what ones don't. Everyone can choose who to allow to hold their money. No one is forced into mortgages or student loans.
So what exactly am I saying? Let's be radical.
If you don't like the banking industry, don't put your money in a bank or take out a mortgage. If you are upset about how Wall Street executives misuse your investments, don't contribute to your 401(k) or build up your portfolio. If you think health insurances are greedy industries, don't get health insurance.
Don't like the price of college? Don't go to college.
Don't like the interest rates and underhanded tactics of credit card companies? Don't get a credit card.
Your phone company keeps screwing up your bill? Drop your cell phone coverage.
And it goes on.
Can you survive without these entities? Let's start with the easy ones.
No mortgage? Save up while renting and buy your home in cash. Don't like that? Then understand that if you borrow $100k from a bank, you've just given them a little bit of control in your life.
Think it's too risky to keep your money in your house in a fire-proof safe? Then keep it in the bank. Understand, though, that you're contributing to the banking industry and, of course, if they screw up your banking statement, in my mind you chose to let someone else hold your money. Is it safer, though, then risking your money to fire or robbery? That's your choice to make.
No cell phone or satellite tv contracts? No credit cards? I won't even bother with that. Just, succinctly, you chose them, you gave them some power and control in your life.
How about health insurance? Surely that's needed! Everyone needs health care! First, health care isn't health insurance. Understand you have options. Look into a HSA and a high deductible plan, if that seems more financially reasonable.
Or, try this. Don't go to doctors if you think they are overpriced. Take really good care of your own body. Show up only at the ER in life-threatening situations, and then pay off that bill with the money you saved on not having health insurance. If it's really expensive, understand that you can choose how much to pay off of that bill every month, as long as you keep paying.
Oh, the power you didn't even know you had!
Or, if it makes financial sense to you, keep your health insurance. For some people, health insurance is a good idea. Others are just too nervous to go without it. Just understand nobody made you.
Ah, but how could i LIVE? No mortgage? NO BANK? What am I suppose to do, save up for my house? Keep my money with me? What happens if I have to go to the doctor? What am I suppose to do when I want to retire? I NEED my house, my pills, my credit rating, my checking account, my health insurance!
Then understand that you have chosen to give these people control of your pocket, which, invariably, means control of your life.
Sorry, can't send my kid to private school, I need to pay $1000/month in health insurance costs.
Can't go on that vacation for five years, I can't get money I invested in my 401(k) yet.
Every dollar you contribute to one of these industries whose practices upset you so much is a dollar validating its existence.
Every mindset you hold that says I MUST have this or that is giving these industries their perceived power in your life.
Understand what I am saying. I'm not telling you I think you should be doing all of this. What I'm saying is that you choose how much you want to contribute to each aspect of our capitalist system.
That's the beauty of it.
Keeping that in mind, I was a bit under the weather today and reading a variety of news articles and blogs to pass the time in bed. I even went the extra step and read all the comments under the articles, an interesting experience, to say the least. Two things that are dominating the news stuck out to me.
Health care and banking. No, check that, health care insurance, which is not health care. We can extend this to all major corporations and wall street investing, as well.
Main street and Wall street.
The comments "main street" Americans left time and time again were angry. They felt used. They resented the banks and their practices. They resented the large salaries of the CEOs at the top of the health insurance industries, and elsewhere. They acted like these companies hold a power over us.
This power that main street has given wall street is a perceived power. In the end, we allow these companies to control us. We choose where every dollar we spend goes, except for taxes, which, for the majority of us (bottom 50%), aren't that burdensome.
The wonderful thing about free market (using the term loosely) capitalism, is that every one of us has a small power to affect what companies stay in business and what ones don't. Everyone can choose who to allow to hold their money. No one is forced into mortgages or student loans.
So what exactly am I saying? Let's be radical.
If you don't like the banking industry, don't put your money in a bank or take out a mortgage. If you are upset about how Wall Street executives misuse your investments, don't contribute to your 401(k) or build up your portfolio. If you think health insurances are greedy industries, don't get health insurance.
Don't like the price of college? Don't go to college.
Don't like the interest rates and underhanded tactics of credit card companies? Don't get a credit card.
Your phone company keeps screwing up your bill? Drop your cell phone coverage.
And it goes on.
Can you survive without these entities? Let's start with the easy ones.
No mortgage? Save up while renting and buy your home in cash. Don't like that? Then understand that if you borrow $100k from a bank, you've just given them a little bit of control in your life.
Think it's too risky to keep your money in your house in a fire-proof safe? Then keep it in the bank. Understand, though, that you're contributing to the banking industry and, of course, if they screw up your banking statement, in my mind you chose to let someone else hold your money. Is it safer, though, then risking your money to fire or robbery? That's your choice to make.
No cell phone or satellite tv contracts? No credit cards? I won't even bother with that. Just, succinctly, you chose them, you gave them some power and control in your life.
How about health insurance? Surely that's needed! Everyone needs health care! First, health care isn't health insurance. Understand you have options. Look into a HSA and a high deductible plan, if that seems more financially reasonable.
Or, try this. Don't go to doctors if you think they are overpriced. Take really good care of your own body. Show up only at the ER in life-threatening situations, and then pay off that bill with the money you saved on not having health insurance. If it's really expensive, understand that you can choose how much to pay off of that bill every month, as long as you keep paying.
Oh, the power you didn't even know you had!
Or, if it makes financial sense to you, keep your health insurance. For some people, health insurance is a good idea. Others are just too nervous to go without it. Just understand nobody made you.
Ah, but how could i LIVE? No mortgage? NO BANK? What am I suppose to do, save up for my house? Keep my money with me? What happens if I have to go to the doctor? What am I suppose to do when I want to retire? I NEED my house, my pills, my credit rating, my checking account, my health insurance!
Then understand that you have chosen to give these people control of your pocket, which, invariably, means control of your life.
Sorry, can't send my kid to private school, I need to pay $1000/month in health insurance costs.
Can't go on that vacation for five years, I can't get money I invested in my 401(k) yet.
Every dollar you contribute to one of these industries whose practices upset you so much is a dollar validating its existence.
Every mindset you hold that says I MUST have this or that is giving these industries their perceived power in your life.
Understand what I am saying. I'm not telling you I think you should be doing all of this. What I'm saying is that you choose how much you want to contribute to each aspect of our capitalist system.
That's the beauty of it.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Walden's Pond
Why do I feel the need to blog? What's the real purpose behind this? I feel it when I look at the American culture of today and realize that I'm nowhere near the typical American way of thinking about anything.
I'm nuts. Certifiably, I'm sure. I ask why way too much. I think way too much. I analyze our culture, I like to think I transcend our culture, although, analytically, I know that I don't quite make it that far.
Still, I'm nuts. And I love it. But I just feel like I shouldn't open my mouth much about my ideas. Because I'd probably insult everyone.
So if you know me, or if you don't feel like getting insulted, don't read. Understand that I really do generally like everyone. I'm ok with you disagreeing with me. No, I don't think I'm better than you. In fact, the only one of these I'd argue anybody to model their life after is the religion aspect of my rant. Everything else is just the deeply held convictions of someone who is swimming as hard as they can upstream against the normal way of thinking about everything.
In the end, I don't really care if you join me in any of them but the one that leads to the pearly gates. That, no matter how passionate I seem about anything, is the endgame for me, and the only choice that really matters.
I add that disclaimer because I'm about to let loose on everything, and it's not normal for me to tell everyone that I think they're all crazy. Not that anyone has paused to tell me they think I'm nuts.
You got married how young? That's stupid.
You need to stop having kids. Why do you have so many kids?
You are going to homeschool? Your kids will be social retards. You can't teach them as well as a public school.
Why do you care about sugar? What's wrong with sugar? I've eaten sugar all my life and I'm ok. Are you trying to live forever?
You believe in the Christian God? You don't think times have changed? You believe in abstinence, heaven and hell and wife's obeying their husbands? Corporal punishment for your children? Old fashioned. Brain washed. Wife abuser. Child abuser. Close minded. Oh, how angry the let-everyone-have-their-own-religion people get when you have your own religion...
I forget sometimes, and its days like today that remind me of how odd I am. Sitting in the DMV, listening to people talk. Mid 30's man and woman, chatting to kill the time. She's getting divorced. Not what she wanted from the beginning, but she's happy that it's getting finalized. Good thing the kids are older, makes it easier for them. He's divorced and remarried. His first wife was scum. His daughter from that marriage is already pregnant with a kid, and he wonders why the state doesn't take the baby, since she's just too young to have one. He hadn't talked to her in a year, but it wasn't his fault. She shouldn't have told him through a text message, she should have had the decency to call him. He got married too young to his first wife, you really have to enjoy life for a while before you get married, figure out who you are.
They are poster children for modern American layman thought, and I am no where near that.
Because I'm nuts. I don't offer my opinion maybe as much as I should, because there's just way too much to say. It would take too long to explain all my reasonings.
Here's some reasons why, just off the top of my head, you will all think I'm insane:
1) Money.
I hate debt. I hate hate hate hate hate debt. I feel repressed by debt, consciously, every day I had student loans I thought about them, no lie. Every day I owed someone money or had a balance on the credit card I couldn't pay that day, I physically felt it. I love the freedom of not having any. I'm so tempted to save and pay cash for my first house, but I hate renting, too, so we shall see. I can't use a credit card to buy a CD at Wal Mart unless I have the cash to pay it off today, because I see it as going into debt for a thing. I hate things. If I could, I'd sleep in sleeping bags with the windows cracked and nothing but books, board games, and my electronics. We'd eat PB and J, rice, beans and produce because food is only there to keep you running, not to taste good. I truly do not care about money, just as long as I have enough to pay the bills and spend time with my family. I can't quite make this dream work because my wife would go bonkers, but we're moving in that direction. Still, I'm not for hoarding money, I just feel more justified in buying a trip to Disney World for my family than things to go around the house. Like tables. Kitchen tables are completely unnecessary.
2) Marriage and Adolescence
I believe in true love, but only if you work really, really hard about it. I hate prolonged adolescence. I know what "prolonged adolescence" is, and that's abnormal. I married when I was 19 and, 5 years later, am still in love, even more so, and I don't feel like I married young, everyone else just marries too old. I just like everything to be simple. If the body is biologically ready to have kids by 17, then the body is saying, hey, go settle down and get married. Play time is over. But not our society...I feel for us abstinence Christians, those that don't get married until late 20s, how do you contain that, seriously? You don't think God's giving humans these urges after 16, 17 years because He's saying, hey, had enough time being a kid, time to grow up? And that's what I mean, I truly believe that the reason 16 year olds don't act like adults is because our society expects them not to. I have four kids and not by accident, and, no, I don't wish I could have "lived a little" before I got "tied down." I don't buy that. Legally, I was an adult by 18. I was plenty old enough to be a man. And being a man, a real man not some shmuck who goes to "adult" parties and beats people up, is such a better feeling than years of partying. Go ahead with your debauchery and fornication, I taught my son how to pee through his fly today, I win, you just don't know it yet...
Are you still reading? Are you mad at me yet? I warned you. I'm not making you read this, and all you're doing, then, is getting irritated that I have these thoughts. I find many liberals hate the freedom of thought (see, Thomas Jefferson's Bio by Bailyn)
3)Politics
Yeah, I love politics. No, ok, I don't love our politics, but I'm passionate about fixing them. I view governmental systems as mostly amoral, and I don't think capitalism is sanctioned by Christianity, but I love small business and agricultural style capitalism and a working republic.
I get annoyed when people refer to our government as a democracy. It's not. I also get annoyed when prison is referred to as a "rehabilitation" center. No, it's a punishment.
I honesty am bothered every day by the national debt and by the fact that ethanol in gas is subsidized (ethanol sucks) and that incandescent light bulbs will be illegal soon so I'll have to buy the ones with mercury poisoning. I care about the federal government following the rules, and I hate big corporations who are big just for the sake of being big. I am annoyed that the drinking age is 21, and more so that it was federally forced down the throats of the states, who should be more powerful entity anyway. California wants to legalize marijuana? What's that to Tennessee? But, no, the federal government wants us all to be the same, and it takes more and more of our freedoms all the time, and I consciously feel it. I'm nowhere near "repressed" historically speaking, we still have it so well and enjoy so many freedoms that I am thankful for, but I see the very wide walls shrinking in every day and I'm getting claustrophibic (how to spell that? don't care). I'm screaming in my head the sky is falling everyday.
This is what I think about, even though I know I'm a drop in a huge bucket and, in the end, this isn't what's really important in life. But, still, it matters to me, because I'm nuts.
4)Theology
The joys of believing in the absolute truth of the Christian God based on an understanding of the Bible and not filtered through my culture or any denomination (I'm not non-denominational either, that's too contentious, I'm transdenominational). Yes, I believe in the absolute truth of the scriptures, and no, I don't think relative truth is even a logical outlook on the world. God exists if you want him to? Really, could I have done that for my parents when I was growing up? No, because they existed as a truth. If I could have made them go away and come back, then they wouldn't have really have been there. "Relative" truth means there is no truth but you're free to lie to yourself if you want.
No, I'm not brainwashed or uneducated, I've read Beyond Good and Evil and the True Believer, I've heard the purple giant octopus under the sea theory, and I understand the arguments against, I know there are millions of people with other religions, I understand you think science points away from God and no, I don't buy a word of it and that's after spending a year doubting my religion (but never losing it). I've thought more about the non-existence of God than most people I know and it's wrong, and that's not my opinion, that's fact, yell at me all you want about being close-minded. I am pure fundamentalist, unabashed by-the-book Christian.
But, again, I'm nuts, even around other Christians, because I don't care about the government sanctioning gay marriage (it's the government and the world is secular, what do I care?), I don't expect the culture to conform to Christian standards (the world's way will never be God's way), I love beer unashamedly because Jesus drank alcohol and no, it wasn't non-alcoholic, this was years after Noah got so trashed he passed out naked on the floor, I loathe Christians that can't hang out with non-Christians, I love my agnostic/atheist/apathetic friends, and I think making money off of Christianity is immoral. Remember, the first church was run like a communist government, everyone throw in your money and we'll spread it equally. Paul was a tent maker because he knew that although he deserved the money, taking the money would muddy his reputation and therefore muddy his message. You can't make way above the average salary on your preaching or your religious writing or your LifeWay position and tell anyone convincingly who isn't a Christian that you're doing it for God (I worked one day at LifeWay. They wanted me to up-sell Bibles. Selling expensive Bibles. That's not Christianity). Non-believers, and some believers, see your nice house and your nice car and say, hey, I'd work for any god or goddess who paid me this kind of money too, you hypocrite. I find the truest form of tithing would be to take your own family and the preacher's family out to Outback for steak and beer (see the longest description of tithing in the Bible for my reasoning why) and I never dress up for church because God doesn't care what I wear or about my hair or the tattoo on my leg or the earing in my ear and I don't go to church for anyone else, no apologies. But, don't get me wrong , I love going to church and I love all the true Christians I meet there, and I think praising God in church is great, I love my pastor's preaching regardless of if he's rich or poor (don't honestly know), I've read Max Lucado and enjoyed the book. I'm just, even in the Christian realm, a little bit nuts, because in the end, it's about God, no one else.
5)Raising my kids
No, I won't feed them sugar (or any of its substitutes) or high fructose corn syrup because that's bad for the body and I don't care what particular holiday it is. No, I'm not a "dirt person," but I'd like my chicken free-ranging and my cows without hormones. It's not about living longer, it's about keeping your body in the best possible shape for as long as you can so you're not miserably in pain from 50 on. Yes, I spank my kids and demand a high level of discipline because that's the right way to do things. I never call my children's misbehavior a "phase," and, not surprisingly, I have well-behaved kids. Of course, the T.V. sitcoms tell everyone that my kids will grow up resenting me for this and obviously they'll have sex and do drugs as teenagers behind my back, and it's only because I'm nuts that I don't follow everyone else and base my decisions on what happens to people in T.V. sitcoms. You know the philosophy, force them to eat vegetables and they'll hate vegetables for their life and if you discipline them every time they're bad they'll be just really bad behind your back, and give them condoms because they're going to have sex anyway and you don't want them to have a baby (by the way, getting pregnant out of wedlock isn't a sin and it certainly isn't a punishment for having sex. A life created is never a punishment. The fornication, that may be wrong, but the baby isn't wrong, and forcing a 15 year old to grow up isn't wrong, it's just wrong if they don't grow up and yes, sorry, if they're capable of having sex and having the baby then they're quite capable of being mothers and fathers, it's just society expects so little of them and they get off easy). I'm sorry, so if I want healthy, well-behaved kids I don't give them real consequences for their actions and let them eat all the junk they want and then someday they'll magically turn all that around? How's that working out for everyone so far?
By the way, I didn't do drugs ever, I didn't have sex before I was married even though I lived with my fiance, and I drank a total of one time underage, but at 19, when, constituionally, I should have been allowed to anyway. It was, however, wrong to drink that one time (I played Halo until 6 am buzzing off 3 wine coolers), so I didn't do it again until 21. So I'm proof that just because you're a teenager you don't have to be "bad" or "rebellious." But that's because I'm nuts, I know.
No, I won't send my kids to public school. Homeschooling isn't weird, it's normal. Historically. You're supposed to educate your own kids, whether its for working on a farm or being a lawyer. Hire an in-house tutor if you need, although these days you can find anything in a book or DVD. Putting a kid in a class of 30 other kids with one teacher who's forced to be a babysitter of 30 kids isn't an education. Forcing a 6 year old to follow a bell schedule and sit in a desk is breeding cattle (thank you, Bill Watterson comic strip for this insight). Letting the government decide what your kid should learn when and how is the opposite of freedom. Teaching 6th graders sex ed is stupid. I promise you two ultra-religious kids who have never been told about sex will put 1 and 1 together on their wedding night all by themselves. What you really want to teach them is how to have sex and not get pregnant. Making a 17 year old man (I know, I know, 17 year olds are supposed to be boys) ask if they can take a piss is an insult. When I turned 18, my parents let me do what I wanted. Why? Because they legally had to. They could have thrown me out, but I'm an 18 year old man, they didn't expect me to ask if I could stay out to 3 am walking the backstreets of Chapel Hill. I'd just be polite and tell them whether to expect me home or not.
Homeschooling? But I'm not smart enough! (To teach a 5th grader? Really? Can you try?) Ah, yes, but most people can't make it financially on one salary! Bet I make less with my family of 6 and, remember, I have no debt...But why should the woman have to stay home? How old-fashion, women should have the right to go out and make their own money! I love this idea of liberating women by letting them work. Here's your freedom to work 50 hours for a job you're going to complain about so you can have a little bit of money so you can spend more and help add to the debt. That's real freedom right there. I know when I saw women being general managers at Starbucks and working 50 hours for 30k who were up to their ears in debt (like the rest of sane America) I thought, that's a free woman right there. She can freely choose (with the right amount of socially applied pressure and ostracization of women who stay home...I swear to you working women expected my mother to watch their kids because she stayed at home and obviously had the free time to help them go to work...) to spend most of her energy for a major corporation so the other major corporations can brainwash her out of her money. Way to go. Then they can't figure out why they feel guilty for not being home. Note:If you're a woman with a great job making tons of money, I understand your liberation. I may not agree with your decision, but if you make over 100k and have no debt, that I sorta get. But, quite frankly, most women (and most of us period) just don't. Further note: If you're a single parent, obviously you can't homeschool. Someone needs to work. I get that to (although I'm all for having children only in marriage and never getting divorced).
I can't wait for the liberation of men, when they give us 100 acre furnished farms and free us from having to work for other people...I know. I know. I am absolutely raging nuts.
Are you still with me? Did you just agree with everything, or are you just getting pissed off? Remember. I just took my freedom of thought and ran with it. And I hate, hate, hate forcing things down people's throats. You chose to read. Don't argue with me in your head, just mull some of this over. Maybe you'll go a bit nuts too.
Because, yes, I'm insane. Culturally. I ask way too many questions and make way too many of my own decisions...
And am oh so happy with my happy marriage that keeps getting better, a sex life well making up for my earlier abstinence, well behaved kids, no debt, true faith in God (the rock of everything good in my life and the reason I don't worry about anything except doing what He says) and a healthy body. Enjoy your prolonged adolescence, middle-aged weight and a body that falls apart after 50, debt, the liberation to work your life away, letting the government raise your kids, not knowing what's coming after death, and kids who for some reason or another turn into rebellious teenagers...at least nobody will look at you like you're crazy.
Because you're just like them.
And I don't care if anyone but my wife reads this, I feel so much better for getting it all out.
I'm nuts. Certifiably, I'm sure. I ask why way too much. I think way too much. I analyze our culture, I like to think I transcend our culture, although, analytically, I know that I don't quite make it that far.
Still, I'm nuts. And I love it. But I just feel like I shouldn't open my mouth much about my ideas. Because I'd probably insult everyone.
So if you know me, or if you don't feel like getting insulted, don't read. Understand that I really do generally like everyone. I'm ok with you disagreeing with me. No, I don't think I'm better than you. In fact, the only one of these I'd argue anybody to model their life after is the religion aspect of my rant. Everything else is just the deeply held convictions of someone who is swimming as hard as they can upstream against the normal way of thinking about everything.
In the end, I don't really care if you join me in any of them but the one that leads to the pearly gates. That, no matter how passionate I seem about anything, is the endgame for me, and the only choice that really matters.
I add that disclaimer because I'm about to let loose on everything, and it's not normal for me to tell everyone that I think they're all crazy. Not that anyone has paused to tell me they think I'm nuts.
You got married how young? That's stupid.
You need to stop having kids. Why do you have so many kids?
You are going to homeschool? Your kids will be social retards. You can't teach them as well as a public school.
Why do you care about sugar? What's wrong with sugar? I've eaten sugar all my life and I'm ok. Are you trying to live forever?
You believe in the Christian God? You don't think times have changed? You believe in abstinence, heaven and hell and wife's obeying their husbands? Corporal punishment for your children? Old fashioned. Brain washed. Wife abuser. Child abuser. Close minded. Oh, how angry the let-everyone-have-their-own-religion people get when you have your own religion...
I forget sometimes, and its days like today that remind me of how odd I am. Sitting in the DMV, listening to people talk. Mid 30's man and woman, chatting to kill the time. She's getting divorced. Not what she wanted from the beginning, but she's happy that it's getting finalized. Good thing the kids are older, makes it easier for them. He's divorced and remarried. His first wife was scum. His daughter from that marriage is already pregnant with a kid, and he wonders why the state doesn't take the baby, since she's just too young to have one. He hadn't talked to her in a year, but it wasn't his fault. She shouldn't have told him through a text message, she should have had the decency to call him. He got married too young to his first wife, you really have to enjoy life for a while before you get married, figure out who you are.
They are poster children for modern American layman thought, and I am no where near that.
Because I'm nuts. I don't offer my opinion maybe as much as I should, because there's just way too much to say. It would take too long to explain all my reasonings.
Here's some reasons why, just off the top of my head, you will all think I'm insane:
1) Money.
I hate debt. I hate hate hate hate hate debt. I feel repressed by debt, consciously, every day I had student loans I thought about them, no lie. Every day I owed someone money or had a balance on the credit card I couldn't pay that day, I physically felt it. I love the freedom of not having any. I'm so tempted to save and pay cash for my first house, but I hate renting, too, so we shall see. I can't use a credit card to buy a CD at Wal Mart unless I have the cash to pay it off today, because I see it as going into debt for a thing. I hate things. If I could, I'd sleep in sleeping bags with the windows cracked and nothing but books, board games, and my electronics. We'd eat PB and J, rice, beans and produce because food is only there to keep you running, not to taste good. I truly do not care about money, just as long as I have enough to pay the bills and spend time with my family. I can't quite make this dream work because my wife would go bonkers, but we're moving in that direction. Still, I'm not for hoarding money, I just feel more justified in buying a trip to Disney World for my family than things to go around the house. Like tables. Kitchen tables are completely unnecessary.
2) Marriage and Adolescence
I believe in true love, but only if you work really, really hard about it. I hate prolonged adolescence. I know what "prolonged adolescence" is, and that's abnormal. I married when I was 19 and, 5 years later, am still in love, even more so, and I don't feel like I married young, everyone else just marries too old. I just like everything to be simple. If the body is biologically ready to have kids by 17, then the body is saying, hey, go settle down and get married. Play time is over. But not our society...I feel for us abstinence Christians, those that don't get married until late 20s, how do you contain that, seriously? You don't think God's giving humans these urges after 16, 17 years because He's saying, hey, had enough time being a kid, time to grow up? And that's what I mean, I truly believe that the reason 16 year olds don't act like adults is because our society expects them not to. I have four kids and not by accident, and, no, I don't wish I could have "lived a little" before I got "tied down." I don't buy that. Legally, I was an adult by 18. I was plenty old enough to be a man. And being a man, a real man not some shmuck who goes to "adult" parties and beats people up, is such a better feeling than years of partying. Go ahead with your debauchery and fornication, I taught my son how to pee through his fly today, I win, you just don't know it yet...
Are you still reading? Are you mad at me yet? I warned you. I'm not making you read this, and all you're doing, then, is getting irritated that I have these thoughts. I find many liberals hate the freedom of thought (see, Thomas Jefferson's Bio by Bailyn)
3)Politics
Yeah, I love politics. No, ok, I don't love our politics, but I'm passionate about fixing them. I view governmental systems as mostly amoral, and I don't think capitalism is sanctioned by Christianity, but I love small business and agricultural style capitalism and a working republic.
I get annoyed when people refer to our government as a democracy. It's not. I also get annoyed when prison is referred to as a "rehabilitation" center. No, it's a punishment.
I honesty am bothered every day by the national debt and by the fact that ethanol in gas is subsidized (ethanol sucks) and that incandescent light bulbs will be illegal soon so I'll have to buy the ones with mercury poisoning. I care about the federal government following the rules, and I hate big corporations who are big just for the sake of being big. I am annoyed that the drinking age is 21, and more so that it was federally forced down the throats of the states, who should be more powerful entity anyway. California wants to legalize marijuana? What's that to Tennessee? But, no, the federal government wants us all to be the same, and it takes more and more of our freedoms all the time, and I consciously feel it. I'm nowhere near "repressed" historically speaking, we still have it so well and enjoy so many freedoms that I am thankful for, but I see the very wide walls shrinking in every day and I'm getting claustrophibic (how to spell that? don't care). I'm screaming in my head the sky is falling everyday.
This is what I think about, even though I know I'm a drop in a huge bucket and, in the end, this isn't what's really important in life. But, still, it matters to me, because I'm nuts.
4)Theology
The joys of believing in the absolute truth of the Christian God based on an understanding of the Bible and not filtered through my culture or any denomination (I'm not non-denominational either, that's too contentious, I'm transdenominational). Yes, I believe in the absolute truth of the scriptures, and no, I don't think relative truth is even a logical outlook on the world. God exists if you want him to? Really, could I have done that for my parents when I was growing up? No, because they existed as a truth. If I could have made them go away and come back, then they wouldn't have really have been there. "Relative" truth means there is no truth but you're free to lie to yourself if you want.
No, I'm not brainwashed or uneducated, I've read Beyond Good and Evil and the True Believer, I've heard the purple giant octopus under the sea theory, and I understand the arguments against, I know there are millions of people with other religions, I understand you think science points away from God and no, I don't buy a word of it and that's after spending a year doubting my religion (but never losing it). I've thought more about the non-existence of God than most people I know and it's wrong, and that's not my opinion, that's fact, yell at me all you want about being close-minded. I am pure fundamentalist, unabashed by-the-book Christian.
But, again, I'm nuts, even around other Christians, because I don't care about the government sanctioning gay marriage (it's the government and the world is secular, what do I care?), I don't expect the culture to conform to Christian standards (the world's way will never be God's way), I love beer unashamedly because Jesus drank alcohol and no, it wasn't non-alcoholic, this was years after Noah got so trashed he passed out naked on the floor, I loathe Christians that can't hang out with non-Christians, I love my agnostic/atheist/apathetic friends, and I think making money off of Christianity is immoral. Remember, the first church was run like a communist government, everyone throw in your money and we'll spread it equally. Paul was a tent maker because he knew that although he deserved the money, taking the money would muddy his reputation and therefore muddy his message. You can't make way above the average salary on your preaching or your religious writing or your LifeWay position and tell anyone convincingly who isn't a Christian that you're doing it for God (I worked one day at LifeWay. They wanted me to up-sell Bibles. Selling expensive Bibles. That's not Christianity). Non-believers, and some believers, see your nice house and your nice car and say, hey, I'd work for any god or goddess who paid me this kind of money too, you hypocrite. I find the truest form of tithing would be to take your own family and the preacher's family out to Outback for steak and beer (see the longest description of tithing in the Bible for my reasoning why) and I never dress up for church because God doesn't care what I wear or about my hair or the tattoo on my leg or the earing in my ear and I don't go to church for anyone else, no apologies. But, don't get me wrong , I love going to church and I love all the true Christians I meet there, and I think praising God in church is great, I love my pastor's preaching regardless of if he's rich or poor (don't honestly know), I've read Max Lucado and enjoyed the book. I'm just, even in the Christian realm, a little bit nuts, because in the end, it's about God, no one else.
5)Raising my kids
No, I won't feed them sugar (or any of its substitutes) or high fructose corn syrup because that's bad for the body and I don't care what particular holiday it is. No, I'm not a "dirt person," but I'd like my chicken free-ranging and my cows without hormones. It's not about living longer, it's about keeping your body in the best possible shape for as long as you can so you're not miserably in pain from 50 on. Yes, I spank my kids and demand a high level of discipline because that's the right way to do things. I never call my children's misbehavior a "phase," and, not surprisingly, I have well-behaved kids. Of course, the T.V. sitcoms tell everyone that my kids will grow up resenting me for this and obviously they'll have sex and do drugs as teenagers behind my back, and it's only because I'm nuts that I don't follow everyone else and base my decisions on what happens to people in T.V. sitcoms. You know the philosophy, force them to eat vegetables and they'll hate vegetables for their life and if you discipline them every time they're bad they'll be just really bad behind your back, and give them condoms because they're going to have sex anyway and you don't want them to have a baby (by the way, getting pregnant out of wedlock isn't a sin and it certainly isn't a punishment for having sex. A life created is never a punishment. The fornication, that may be wrong, but the baby isn't wrong, and forcing a 15 year old to grow up isn't wrong, it's just wrong if they don't grow up and yes, sorry, if they're capable of having sex and having the baby then they're quite capable of being mothers and fathers, it's just society expects so little of them and they get off easy). I'm sorry, so if I want healthy, well-behaved kids I don't give them real consequences for their actions and let them eat all the junk they want and then someday they'll magically turn all that around? How's that working out for everyone so far?
By the way, I didn't do drugs ever, I didn't have sex before I was married even though I lived with my fiance, and I drank a total of one time underage, but at 19, when, constituionally, I should have been allowed to anyway. It was, however, wrong to drink that one time (I played Halo until 6 am buzzing off 3 wine coolers), so I didn't do it again until 21. So I'm proof that just because you're a teenager you don't have to be "bad" or "rebellious." But that's because I'm nuts, I know.
No, I won't send my kids to public school. Homeschooling isn't weird, it's normal. Historically. You're supposed to educate your own kids, whether its for working on a farm or being a lawyer. Hire an in-house tutor if you need, although these days you can find anything in a book or DVD. Putting a kid in a class of 30 other kids with one teacher who's forced to be a babysitter of 30 kids isn't an education. Forcing a 6 year old to follow a bell schedule and sit in a desk is breeding cattle (thank you, Bill Watterson comic strip for this insight). Letting the government decide what your kid should learn when and how is the opposite of freedom. Teaching 6th graders sex ed is stupid. I promise you two ultra-religious kids who have never been told about sex will put 1 and 1 together on their wedding night all by themselves. What you really want to teach them is how to have sex and not get pregnant. Making a 17 year old man (I know, I know, 17 year olds are supposed to be boys) ask if they can take a piss is an insult. When I turned 18, my parents let me do what I wanted. Why? Because they legally had to. They could have thrown me out, but I'm an 18 year old man, they didn't expect me to ask if I could stay out to 3 am walking the backstreets of Chapel Hill. I'd just be polite and tell them whether to expect me home or not.
Homeschooling? But I'm not smart enough! (To teach a 5th grader? Really? Can you try?) Ah, yes, but most people can't make it financially on one salary! Bet I make less with my family of 6 and, remember, I have no debt...But why should the woman have to stay home? How old-fashion, women should have the right to go out and make their own money! I love this idea of liberating women by letting them work. Here's your freedom to work 50 hours for a job you're going to complain about so you can have a little bit of money so you can spend more and help add to the debt. That's real freedom right there. I know when I saw women being general managers at Starbucks and working 50 hours for 30k who were up to their ears in debt (like the rest of sane America) I thought, that's a free woman right there. She can freely choose (with the right amount of socially applied pressure and ostracization of women who stay home...I swear to you working women expected my mother to watch their kids because she stayed at home and obviously had the free time to help them go to work...) to spend most of her energy for a major corporation so the other major corporations can brainwash her out of her money. Way to go. Then they can't figure out why they feel guilty for not being home. Note:If you're a woman with a great job making tons of money, I understand your liberation. I may not agree with your decision, but if you make over 100k and have no debt, that I sorta get. But, quite frankly, most women (and most of us period) just don't. Further note: If you're a single parent, obviously you can't homeschool. Someone needs to work. I get that to (although I'm all for having children only in marriage and never getting divorced).
I can't wait for the liberation of men, when they give us 100 acre furnished farms and free us from having to work for other people...I know. I know. I am absolutely raging nuts.
Are you still with me? Did you just agree with everything, or are you just getting pissed off? Remember. I just took my freedom of thought and ran with it. And I hate, hate, hate forcing things down people's throats. You chose to read. Don't argue with me in your head, just mull some of this over. Maybe you'll go a bit nuts too.
Because, yes, I'm insane. Culturally. I ask way too many questions and make way too many of my own decisions...
And am oh so happy with my happy marriage that keeps getting better, a sex life well making up for my earlier abstinence, well behaved kids, no debt, true faith in God (the rock of everything good in my life and the reason I don't worry about anything except doing what He says) and a healthy body. Enjoy your prolonged adolescence, middle-aged weight and a body that falls apart after 50, debt, the liberation to work your life away, letting the government raise your kids, not knowing what's coming after death, and kids who for some reason or another turn into rebellious teenagers...at least nobody will look at you like you're crazy.
Because you're just like them.
And I don't care if anyone but my wife reads this, I feel so much better for getting it all out.
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